August 16, 2008
Raising Confident Children
Raising confident children is something that is important to all parents. No matter how kind, intelligent, caring, or determined your child is, if he does not believe in himself he will not live up to his full potential in life. He will be constantly undermined by the plague of self-doubt and will make everything more difficult than it has to be.
Unfortunately, there is no magical formula for raising confident children. A lot of parents think that it is enough to be there for their kids and offer positive support, but it can require a whole lot more than this. Sometimes, the most insignificant events can, over time, work to undermine your child's self confidence. No matter how hard you try as a parent, raising raising confident kids will almost always involve repairing some damage before it gets too bad.
Raising confident children begins with encouraging them, but it is important that you offer the right kind of encouragement. A lot of experts in how to raise confident children say that it is important not to tie the idea of self-confidence to results. If you tell your children that they should try because they can accomplish whatever they are working at at the time, they will lose confidence in themselves when they fail. If you tell them, on the other hand, to be confident because they can accomplish amazing things, and because they are good and capable people who should not doubt themselves, then they will feel better no matter what. Even a few setbacks will not keep them down.
One of the biggest tricks for raising confident children is to always be a model of confidence yourself. Be a capable, dignified model, and they will want to emulate you. Show them what you can do, and they will want to do it too. Do not tie your own self-confidence to overcoming other people who get in your way. This can be intimidating, and it will send the wrong message. Rather, be confident in your own abilities regardless of the actions of other people.
One of the best thing I ever learned about raising confident children was from a self-esteem coach who worked for one of the bigger New York school districts. He told me that every kid can learn to be confident if he is around people who believe in him. This is one of the most precious secrets that I can tell a parent. Believe in your own child, and that child will come to believe in himself. It is really every bit as simple as that.
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